Family law cases can be among the most emotionally and financially draining legal battles a person might face. The complexity of these cases, combined with the personal stakes involved, often leads to high-conflict situations where the outcomes hinge significantly on the judge’s subjective rulings. We hope provide detailed guidance on how to manage a family law case effectively, highlighting the importance of organization, emotional control, and strategic planning.
The High Costs of Family Law Litigation
One of the most significant challenges in family law is the cost of litigation. Legal fees can quickly escalate, with many attorneys charging hundreds of dollars per hour. The prolonged nature of these cases, often spanning months or even years, can lead to financial exhaustion. Moreover, the unpredictable nature of family law, where outcomes can be highly dependent on the judge’s discretion, adds another layer of risk. Attorneys are aware of these factors and are often hesitant to take on clients involved in potentially high-conflict cases due to the uncertainty and potential for protracted disputes.
Why Attorneys Often Avoid High-Conflict Cases
High-conflict cases can be particularly daunting for attorneys. These cases typically involve intense emotions, constant disputes, and a high degree of unpredictability. Judges’ rulings in such cases are often subjective, leading to outcomes that can seem arbitrary or inconsistent. This unpredictability, combined with the emotional toll these cases take on both the client and the attorney, makes many lawyers reluctant to accept high-conflict family law cases.
The Importance of Organization and Documentation
For litigants navigating the family law system, being highly organized is crucial. Here are key strategies:
- Keep detailed notes: Document every interaction and event related to your case. This includes conversations, incidents, and any correspondence with your ex-partner or their legal team.
- Maintain copies of orders and if necessary, transcripts: Always have copies of court orders, transcripts, and other important documents readily accessible. This documentation can be critical in court proceedings and in consultations with your attorney.
- Leave emotion out of the case: Family law cases are inherently emotional, but it is essential to approach them with a level head. Presenting yourself as rational and composed can significantly impact the judge’s perception of your case.
The Emotional Challenges
Over the years, we have observed the difficulties in assisting litigants who are emotionally charged. While it is natural to feel strong emotions during such a challenging time, it is crucial to manage these feelings effectively. Attorneys and advocates are trained to navigate legal issues, not to provide emotional support. They are not therapists, counselors, or social workers, and their primary role is to offer legal representation and advice.
The Role of Volunteers and Support Networks
Our network of volunteers works tirelessly to support individuals going through family law disputes. However, finding volunteers capable of handling highly emotional cases is incredibly challenging. Volunteers, much like attorneys, are not equipped to provide the level of emotional support that a professional counselor or therapist can offer. It is essential for litigants to seek appropriate emotional support outside of their legal team to ensure they can present their case effectively and maintain their mental well-being.
How To Reach Out For Help!
- First and foremost, you do not need to tell us that your Judge is biased. No one who reaches out to us believes their judge is fair. We need to know specifically what happened and when.
- Please understand that we do not focus on who should have prevailed in the case, we do not focus on which parent should have custody, how property should be distributed, what parenting time arrangements are most suitable, we focus solely on circumstances where judges have violated family code and/or other legal codes and/or acted unethically/illegally.
- We understand that most litigants may not understand if and when their judge may have violated family code, they just know that the judge’s rulings seem “wrong”. Therefore, it is important that you focus on the facts when discussing your case.
- We cannot stress the importance of leaving emotion out of your communication. Our volunteers are assisting in their spare time, and over the years, have given their blood sweat and tears when assisting litigants, in addition to managing their personal and professional obligations. It is inefficient for any Advocate to invest time wading through emotions to get to the facts. In our experience in family court, being emotionally charged is a hindrance to progress. We understand the pain of litigation, but we cannot assist with your pain.
- If you need emotional support, there are wonderful support groups on Facebook, Reddit and other forums, that can help you “survive” the turmoil of family law litigation. It’s critical for us to stress this as litigants often overstep boundaries and burden our Advocates venting about the trauma of their litigation, with little regard for the mental and emotional health of the Advocate on the receiving end.
- Keep your communication concise and factual. Stick to specific dates, rulings and orders and your understanding of what happened and what you believe was unfair. Be specific when referring to attorneys, CCRCs, Mediators and other Court staff. Sometimes we know when a specific attorney has a track record of problematic behavior and it expedites our review when you specify the parties involved in your case.
- The best case scenario is every litigant keeps their own “log” of their hearing dates, filings, orders, notes of what happened and when possible, copies of Court Orders and Minute Orders. Of course we know no one is perfect, but we also don’t have admin assistants. We don’t have anyone specifically tasked to help you track down all the documents necessary to adequately review your case.
- A big part of getting help with your case is learning how to be a litigant, it’s understanding how to litigate, how to be a great client (if you have representation) or how to successfully advocate for yourself (if you are pro per). We know, we get it, no one plans for this. No one goes into a relationship expecting to end up litigating at the dissolution, but we are here now. Like it or not, this is your path and to get through it, and to have any chance at fighting this uphill battle, you have to fall in line. You have to do work you never thought you’d have to do and you may not even be prepared to do it. But this is where we are.